"Somewhere In The Bible"

So, I have not been on to post in awhile because I was too busy.  Besides the everyday business of working, housekeeping, and raising children, I am back in school again for my Masters degree and a new set of food allergies has me having to totally re-vamp the way I cook (again).  I said I would never make 2 separate dinners to please everyone in my family, but now I am forced to, because frankly, I wouldn't make my family eat some of the things I eat simply because my choices are so limited.  But anyways, my allergies are not what this post is about.  It's about my being too busy, or so I thought!  God was about to show me other things!  Sometimes when my pastor is preaching a sermon on something I'm very familiar with, I find myself wandering around in my Bible reading the nearby scripture passages and accompanying devotionals.  Almost always, I find something very applicable to what's going on in my life.  Yesterday, that was definitely the case.

The devotional on the following page was entitled "Somewhere In The Bible".  It was the story of a  young man witnessing to his lawyer friend about Jesus.  Throughout his attempt to explain salvation, the Christian young man kept saying "Somewhere in the Bible it says....."  His lawyer friend asked him to go to his office with him and showed him his expansive collection of law books.  The lawyer said to the Christian, "If you came to me with a legal problem, I would know exactly what book to look in for your situation.  You, as a Christian, have one book to master, to learn, to memorize and to handle to correctly, yet you do not know where anything is found.  You tell me the central person of this book is the most important thing in your life, but I find that hard to believe."  

This really struck a cord with me because at the beginning of the year (when everyone is making those New Years resolutions), I was thinking about doing a 52 verses in 52 weeks challenge.  However, I got too busy and never got around to getting started.  It has popped into my head a few times but then quickly was removed by other pressing thoughts.  I stumbled across the blog that gave me the idea again last week and thought, "Oh, I really still feel like I should be doing that, but I'll wait until November to start and then it will be a nice even number of weeks".  Of course, this was my perfectionism mindset taking over.  There is no reason I can only memorize scripture in designated months or years, and I needed to change my way of thinking.  The closing for the devotional said this: "If God is to speak to me in everyday situations, I need to study, memorize and know how to apply his words.  Then the insights that hit me are the ones I can share with others.  After all, I can't share what I don't know".  How true is that!  If God is going to use me to reach others, I have to be able to speak to their current situations, and how am I going to be able to do that without seeking God through diligent prayer and memorizing scripture to be able to share with and encourage others?

Therefore, I am NOT going to way until next week to get the "equal 2 months worth" of scripture memory.  I am starting now!  My first verse is going to be Ephesians 2:10 and I already have a list of the rest of them.  My goal is to memorize 1 verse a week from now on.

"For we are God's masterpiece.  

He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, 

so we can do the good things He planned 

for us long ago".  (Ephesians 2:10)

How about you?  Are you committed to memorizing scripture?  If so, how do you go about actually doing it?  Any practical tips for me as I start out on this journey?  (I hate to admit it, but I haven't actually memorized any scripture since my freshman year of college, so I could really use some practical ideas.)  Whatever you are doing to keep God's word fresh in your minds, keep it up!  You can't go wrong when God is involved!

"They said we'd never make it, but look how far we've come now, baby..."

Tomorrow marks our 10th wedding anniversary.  Our friend who sang at our reception (since we eloped) sang "You're Still The One" and it couldn't have been more fitting.  Family and friends alike tried talking us out of getting married.  We have had a very rocky road getting to this point, but I am so grateful that we didn't listen to everyone and stuck it out even when it seemed impossible to stay together.  Life hasn't always been good and we separated a few times earlier in our marriage, but we both knew that we didn't want to become another divorce statistic or to leave that legacy for our children, so here we are.  The past 2 years have been the best years of our marriage yet and I can truly say that we work as a team now to overcome whatever life hands us, rather than everything becoming a constant struggle against the world and eachother.  A friend and I were talking the other day about people who just out of the blue walk away from their marriages and/or families and how we don't understand how smeone can do that (except in extenuating circumstances, of course).  We were talking about how we just depend on our spouses so much, but not in an unhealthy way, more of a "our lives are so very intertwined with eachother" sort of way.  We work together with our spouses to encourage eachother, raise our children, meet our financial goals, and keep the day-to-day household tasks from overwhelming us.  Marriage can be such a blessing when you begin to look at our spouse as your partner, not as someone to meet all of your needs or as someone else who is placing demands on you.

I truly believe that many of our struggles early in our marriage were simply due to immaturity.  I was only 20 when we got married, and looking at the person I am now versus then seems like a different lifetime ago.  I have grown up and changed so much and things that used to be an issue to me seem so silly now.  I think a lot of it stemmed from me still trying to find who I was during that time.  Since Jeremy was also young, I feel that he was dealing with a lot of the same things that I was.  The closer I got to 25, the easier things seemed to become.  I am in no way against young marriages.  I just try to talk to young people I know that are getting married that you both will still do some changing as people, and you have to be willing to allow your spouse to do that and to encourage them to become the person God is calling them to be.  My husband will sometimes joke that I married a totally different person than I am married to now, and he is right in a lot of ways, but the thing is that the core things I loved about him are still there even though he dresses differently, listens to different music, has different hobbies, and wants different things out of life.  He is still one of the funniest people I know.  He still holds my hand when we're out and about and calls just to say hi.  He still loves to sing along to all of our favorite songs when we're in the car or even just sitting around at home.  He still loves to play cards with me before bed and to cuddle up and watch movies on the couch.  He isn't perfect (and neither am I!), but we are perfectly suited for eachother.  There are days when the kids are napping and we are doing something together and I think "I can't imagine being this comfortable doing this with anyone else"!  I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us!

Camping Season

Our family loves all sorts of outdoor activities, and camping encompasses a lot of them, so it goes without saying that camping is one of our favorite things to do together.  My husband and I have spent weekends camping since we have been dating.  Our son went camping for the first time when he was 6-months-old and our daughter was only 6-weeks-old on her first trip.  Last year, we even went so far as to buy a lifetime camping membership to a group of campgrounds near our home so it is very convenient for us to camp whenever possible.  There is something about waking up to the sunrise with the sounds of nature around you and spending the day outside enjoying God's creation that just puts you in a better mood.  Oh sure, "disasters" happen when we are camping all the time (like the time we got 2 hours from home and realized the crank for our pop-up was locked in the garage at home), but it's all part of the experience and just like anything else, it doesn't have to ruin the time if you don't let it.

While camping can be an enjoyable and relaxing time, it does require a bit more work than some other vacations.  However, much like I am always saying, as long as your plan ahead, it can significantly ease the amount of work you have to do at the actual campsite.  Before I share my best tips for a successful family camping trip, I should let you know that we camp in a pop-up camper.  I enjoy tenting, but my husband hates how everything tends to get "moist" from the ground, so this was our compromise (and that's what marriage is all about, right?).

Tip #1:  Use a list to make sure you have all of the necessary supplies.

     While I had always used a list before the missing crank incident (because I am a list-maker by nature, in case you haven't noticed), after that trip, I sat down at our computer to make a master list of everything we have ever needed for camping.  Now, before every trip I simply print one off, cross off anything we don't need for where we are going, and add grocery items and any other miscellaneous items on the back.  As everyone chips in to pack, items can only be crossed off once they have been placed in the camper or vehicle to avoid items getting left at home.

Tip #2: Plan a menu and pre-cook/prep as much as possible at home.

     Camping food for our family is always easy to prepare with minimal prep and clean-up so that everyone can enjoy the trip without being busy with extra work.  Veggies and fruit can be chopped ahead of time.  Pasta salads can be made at home.  Meat can be cut or formed and marinated and shredded or ground meat can be cooked.  Noodles can be pre-cooked so they are al dente and only needed reheated without dealing with draining at the campsite.  Rather than hauling a lot of equipment with us to cook meals, we try to either do all one-pot meals cooked in our electric skillet or things that can be cooked over the fire. Some of our family's favorite camping meals include hot dogs cooked over the fire, spaghetti reheated in a jar of sauce, nachos/tacos/walking tacos, breakfast burritos, chili, goulash, pizza sandwiches (cooked like grilled cheese but with a thin layer of sauce spread on one side with mozzarella cheese and pepperoni), sausage gravy with pre-cooked biscuits, and foil pack dinners consisting of burgers or sliced smoked sausage with potatoes and veggies.

Tip #3:  Pack more clothes than you think you need (especially for your children).

     Camping, by nature, is messy.  Clothes get dirty, muddy, and wet quicker than you may realize.  Even children who don't go through extra clothes on a regular basis at home very likely will when they are outside all day.  On this same note, don't forget to pack clothes for different weather such as rain and a few warm items such as jeans and sweatshirts in case it is cold at night around the fire or in the morning cooking breakfast.  Speaking of clothes, always have somewhere to put your wet/dirty clothes in so they don't ruin the rest of your clothes.  We use one of those lawn/leaf heavy duty paper sacks to save space, but a small tote would probably be even better.

Tip #4:  No matter what the weather forecast, always have a few rainy day activities on hand.

     We have one small cupboard in the camper designated for these types of things that my children know they can't play with otherwise.  This includes travel board games, small craft kits I've found at the dollar store, and coloring/activity books and crayons.  If rain is forecast, I also pack the portable DVD player in the glovebox and a few of their favorite movies.  If the rain persists for multiple days of our trip, we will often leave the campground and take the kids to a movie or to a restaurant for appetizers/desserts for a break.

Tip #5:  Make it a point to enjoy yourself no matter what happens!

     When you are out in the great outdoors, anything is bound to happen.  Just go with it!  Forgot your camper crank? (lol) Drive home, get it, set up later than planned, but then relax around the campfire with your husband and play a game of cards once the kids go to bed.  Rain ruining your plans?  Make new ones. If you're in a new town, go exploring.  Use those rainy day activities.  Make friends with the neighboring campsite and go to the lodge to have some sort of family competition with them.  Camping is no different than real-life in this respect...  Attitude is everything!  And remember, your attitude can affect the attitude of the rest of your family, so if you make it an adventure instead of a burden, they will likely follow suit.    

So what about all of you?  What are your best tips for a successful camping trip?  

Happy Camping Everyone!  :)

How do you handle disappointments?

I have been planning our family annual Memorial Day camping trip for this weekend for at least a few weeks now.  We used to go every year for 4 to 5 days.  However, with our daughter being born on Memorial Day weekend 2 years ago, we haven't been able to go the last few years, and I was so glad that we were finally getting back to our normal routine.  I have been working quite a bit of overtime to pay for the extra hospital bills from my surgery in January, so I couldn't think of anything better than having some uninterrupted time with my family to reconnect.  Unfortunately, due to bad weather, we have not been able to get the camper out until this morning for me to clean and pack for the trip, and we're supposed to be leaving this afternoon.  When we finally got it out and opened at 6 am today, the mice had gotten into the camper again for the 2nd year in a row, despite my attempts to pack it with things that are supposed to keep them out.  They have chewed through many more spots in the canvas and also through all the new curtains I made last year to replace the ruined ones.

What I really wanted to do when my husband started cranking it up and I could see what had happened, was scream, cry, and throw a temper tantrum like my soon-to-be 2-year-old!  But instead, I chose to stand and enjoy the sunshine for a minute, figure out a plan of how I could get things done today so we can hopefully still go this weekend (but probably not until tomorrow), and read my bible/devotional and pray about it.  While I am still disappointed about the time I won't be getting to spend relaxing with my family, I feel so much better than if I would have lost it and made myself feel even worse.  

How we react when we are disappointed says a lot about us, in my opinion.  If we choose to dwell on the negative feelings, it will just make things bigger than they really are.  Something that happened today will still be bothering us next week or next month.  Instead, I have been intentionally trying to create an action plan of something I can do to make myself feel better about the situation and been trying to let things go.  "It is what it is" has become one of my most-used phrases.  Why waste precious energy being upset over something that can't be changed anyways?

I hope you all have a blessed weekend and remember that Memorial Day is about remembering all of those people who have sacrificed so we can live in this country and be free to speak our minds and enjoy all of our other freedoms.  Take a moment to thank a soldier or a soldier's family for all that they do!

Failure

This week I had to give one of my students a failing grade in my clinical.  I really hate when I have to do that, but their behavior in my class warranted the grade, and after speaking with the two other instructors who also have this particular student, we all seemed to be in agreement about the situation.  When I was returning their final evaluation and discussing the grade and my many requests to meet with them about their work, they said to me, "I knew that I was failing the past few weeks so I had pretty much just given up".

This got me thinking about our lives, and how we relate to God.  As Christians, we can't fail in this life.  Sure we will make mistakes, but God is always there with grace and mercy to forgive us and pick us back up if we are willing to repent and run back to Him.  We don't need to give up, like this student did, because there is always a chance to start over again right now.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." 

Psalms 103:11-12

God longs to see us succeed.  He wants what is best for us.  There will be testing of our faith and correction when needed, but He is still our biggest fan, cheering us on until His work is complete in us.  He has given each of us unique talents and gifts so that we may be a blessing to Him and those around us.  When we are seeking His purpose for our lives, and doing what we are called to do, we will find a sense of joy and fulfillment unlike anything else we have ever experienced before.  

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you 

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."          

Jeremiah 29:11

What is God asking you today?  It may seem scary, but if we are willing to step out in faith, He will provide us with the strength, courage, encouragement, and whatever else we may need to succeed.  He will also be there to catch us if we fall.  What one thing can you do today to begin working towards what you are feeling called to do?  If you feel like you aren't sure where God is leading you right now, try starting today with prayer that you would see clearly what God is wanting you to do in this season of your life.

I'd love to join in praying for you to find God's purpose for your life right now!  While I pray that any woman reading this is blessed and encouraged to follow where she feels she is being called to serve, I would love to pray for you specifically.  Feel free to leave me a comment or send me a message and let me know what I can be praying about.  I hope that you have a week blessed with a strong sense of God's presence!

How My Children See Me

Last night, as I was trying to find a recipe for something on my laptop, my 21-month-old daughter walked over and shut the computer not once but twice.  The first time, I told her no, and then went back to what I was trying to finish up.  The second time, I was starting to get frustrated with her, but as she lifted up her arms and said "up", a realization came over me.  My son had made a comment the day before about how I'm "always on my computer".  What do they think of me?  What kind of legacy am I leaving for them of what their mom spent her time on?  From my children's point-of-view, who already seem to show signs of my "love language", quality time, the computer probably seems like the enemy.  

While I do spend a lot of time on my computer, it's because many of my work and home management tasks have now been moved to the computer.  I pay bills on the computer and use online banking, have to keep up-to-date with the class website for the section I teach, do my daily devotionals online, respond to emails for my job, complete  my self-scheduling at the hospital, and use it to look up recipes that are safe for me to eat.   I do spend some time on Facebook catching up with friends and family or reading other blogs too.  However, from the perspective of my children, it probably really doesn't matter much what I am doing, but simply that it is taking time away from them.  Children have little capacity to understand all of the "behind the scenes" things that it takes to keep a household functioning and orderly.  And if you haven't already noticed, I like organized.  If I were super-woman, my house would be completely spotless at all times and everything would be organized just so, because that's what I am able to be most relaxed and function my best.  As it is though, I'm just a regular mom trying to do the best that she can.  

The take way lesson is this, whatever I am working on at that moment can probably wait for at least a few minutes when my children ask me to stop and pay attention to them.  Perhaps my daughter wants held, or my son wants me to play a quick game with him or catch up on an episode of his favorite tv show.  It doesn't matter what it is.  What matters it that they want to spend time with me, and I want them to really know that they are the most important things in the world to me.  Before I know it, they will be in the stage where it isn't cool to hang out with your mom anymore and then even more quickly they will be out of the house.

So far this year, I had a hard time figuring out what it was that was going to be my main goal.  Last year it was to put my family first, and I have made big strides in that.  I have gotten much better at spending one-on-one time with my children and prioritizing my work and family time.  My husband commented recently that this has been the best year of marriage yet, so I must be doing something right in that area too.  So, while I have made great improvements in planning time with my family, I am still not great at spontaneous things.  My desire for this year is to not only plan time with my family, but be actively engaged with them whenever possible.  This seems simple, but for the crazy inner organizer in me, it will prove to be quite a challenge.  So here it is... wish me luck!

My 2013 Goal:

Live in the moment!

Showing Love To Your Husband

It's almost February 1st, which means that Valentine's Day is quickly approaching.  While my husband and I both feel that it is overly commercialized, we do enjoy doing something small for each other in the spirit of the day.  This year I am working on a box with 100 reasons that I love him written out on slips of paper tucked inside.  I also read a cute idea on a different idea blog that I may have to do too.  You spread a bag of Hershey's kisses on the floor with a note that says, "I've kissed the ground you walk on.  Will you be my Valentine?".  (If I do this, it will have to be before he gets up for work in the morning in our bedroom, because otherwise our daughter will have the candies hiding all over our house within a few minutes, and a scavenger hunt for them is not what I had in mind.)  He will probably get me a movie, since that is our go-to gift for each other.  We both love movies, and you will frequently find us cuddled up on the couch watching one together after the kids are in bed for the night.  He also always used to get me some sort of chocolate (since I am a chocoholic by self-admission) but now that I have to buy special chocolates at the health food store (and I'm not even sure he knows where it is), I'm not counting on that this year.  Also, it's rare that we are able to go out to dinner on Valentine's Day due to our hectic schedules, so we typically make some sort of special treat to enjoy later that night.  

While Valentine's Day can be a lot of fun, who says you need a designated day to express your love for your significant other?  Throughout the last almost 10 years, my husband and I have endured all of those standard vows you say to each other on your wedding day.  We have seen for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or health, and came out even stronger on the other side of it all, and three years ago we received a wake-up call that reminded us that we need to cherish those we love the most because we never know when they will be taken from us.  Sometimes it's way sooner that we ever thought.  For this reason, we try to show each other on a regular basis how much the we mean to the other.  Here are just a few of the ways that we do this.

• On my days off, I try to have the house picked up from the daily clutter before he comes home.  I know that means a lot to him and also he doesn't feel like he needs to chip in and help and is instead able to relax for a few minutes after work.  If the baby is down for a nap, I will also brew a fresh pot of coffee and sit down to visit with him until our son gets off the bus because it allows us some nice, uninterrupted time for conversation (which is a rare treat).  
• On the same note, I also try to always be sure I look nice when he comes home from work.  I'm not saying I am dressed in anything fancy, but I make it a point to be showered and out of my pajamas (even if it's yoga pants and a cute top I have on), put on at least some lip gloss, and have tried to put my hair in a neat-looking ponytail if I didn't have time to do it that day.  While I had always attempted to do this (and succeeded most days), one day at Bible study a friend of mine really put it into perspective.  She said that our husbands our designed to be very visual, and with all the women that our men come in contact with on a daily basis, we should seek to be something beautiful for them to look at.  It's true! 
• We don't make decisions without consulting the other person and considering how it will affect them.  We often jokingly refer to ourselves as "Team O" (Yes, we are a bit sports-obsessed and competitive!) and strive to work as a team to problem solve, whether it is in regards to getting the housework done, how to manage our schedules, or even bigger problems that come our way. 
• As previously stated in this post, we love to hang out together after the kids go to bed.  You will often find us cuddled up on the couch watching a movie or catching up on some of our favorite shows that are DVR'd, playing games, or just hanging out and talking about our day.  It is rare that we are each doing "our own thing" after the kids' bedtime, but instead use that time to enjoy eachother's company.  
• A few of the ways that my husband shows that I am important to him is always taking the trash out (my most hated chore), sending me short and sweet texts throughout the day that say things like "Miss you", "Love you", or "Hope you're having a good day" to let me know he's thinking of me, taking the kids upstairs to play if I'm struggling to get some work or household chores done in the evening, and on Sunday mornings he always make sure the diaper bag is full, that the kids are ready and gets them in the car, and fills my coffee cup for me so that I can have a few extra minutes myself to get ready.

 

A "love note" from my husband.  

Last summer I was slicing cucumbers for a salad and then had to take a quick bathroom break.  When I came back, he had wrote "I Love Jen The Great" with the peels, so I had to capture something so random on photo.  Yes, I know we are dorks, but are loving dorks!

I could go on, and on, and on, but I will spare you that.  The point is this: We should chose to show our spouses love and respect every day of our lives together because that is what builds a strong marriage. 

What about you and your significant other?  Any special plans for Valentine's Day or any fun ideas you want to share?  What about the rest of year?  How do you choose to show your love for each other on a regular basis?

Meals From The Pantry (and Freezer too)

There has been a  lot of talk since the start of the new year about "Cleaning Out The Pantry Challenges" going on with many of the homemaking blogs I read.  I have never purposefully done one of these, but I do believe that it can save you money, eliminate wasted food, and help you organize your pantry and/or freezer better once you have gotten rid of the majority of the items that cause the clutter.  With that being said, our cupboards currently look like we have been doing something like this, because I have not shopped since before my surgery 3 weeks ago.  We did receive some meals from our church family the first weeks, my mom brought over some food for us to eat, and my two aunts and my mother-in-law have all picked up a few needed items for me when they were doing their own shopping, but our cupboards are getting very bare.  Luckily, we stock up on meat whenever we find an amazing sale, so we still have quite a big of meat, a little frozen veggies, and some convenience foods my husband bought for him and kids in the freezer,  However, we are out of tons of staples that I need to be able to make foods that are safe for me to eat, and we are out of coffee!  That may be the worst at the moment!  I am actually going back to work next week, so I have a meeting to attend with my lead faculty member this afternoon.  Luckily, there is a discount grocery store nearby so I should be able to stock up on some staples and make some foods for my lunches before then.   

Here are some of the easy meals I suggest if you are just trying to keep cooking and menu planning low-key for whatever reason.  To make them complete meals, I usually just heat up a bag of frozen veggies and open up a can of fruit (juice packed).

• Spaghetti
• Cheese Quesadillas
• Rice & Beans
• Eggs & Toast

So, what about all of you?  Have any of you done one of these challenges?  What were the results?  Did you make it the entire time without grocery shopping?  What did you think of it?  Also, if you have any really good pantry meals, I'd love for you to share them!

My Surgery - Physical and Emotional Healing

Last week, I was so busy dealing with the physical pain and recovery that I didn't have time to think about the emotional aspects.  This week, since my pain is under control and I'm getting around better, I have had to deal with what this surgery actually means.  I cannot have any more children.  When I scheduled my surgery 3 weeks ago, I knew that.  Sure I had a few moments where I was very upset about it prior to surgery, but now that it is over and done with it has hit me like a ton of bricks.  

The surgery was necessary due to all of the complications I was having, and being a nurse, I could foresee even more problems that would happen if I put it off for too long or tried to have another baby before having it done.  My husband and I had considered both of those options briefly, but both rationally knew that neither was for the best and could produce even worse results, causing harm to both me and baby.  Besides, we already have children.  I kept telling myself I would be okay with not getting to have a big family, because there are people out there who can't have any and I can't even imagine what that would be like.  Infertility must be torture for a woman.  If anyone reading this has dealt with or is currently dealing with infertility, please know that I am not trying to be insensitive in any way.  While I can't say that I know what you are going through, please know that my heart goes out to you as another woman who's dreams of what her family would be like have been shattered.

Growing up with only one sister, I always wished that I came from a bigger family.  Sure there were perks to their only being 2 of us, and our home basically had an open door policy for all of our friends so there was always activity in the house, but my sister and I were never that close.  I had always thought that if there were more siblings we would all have somebody in the family to connect with.  My mom is one of 4 daughters, and getting together with her family is so much fun.  There are tons of people around talking and laughing and it always feels so comforting when we are all together.  My dad, on the other hand, is an only-child, so our entire family can fit around one normal sized table when we all get together and it's completely different.  I always imagined big family get togethers with our kids and then eventually their own families some day.  Now, God willing, we will have those family get-togethers, but they will just be much smaller than I had always hoped.  

I guess the hardest part of all of this is we are at an age where I shouldn't have to be facing this already.  Therefore, a lot of our friends are still having children, as well as our siblings both expecting babies within the year.  Actually, my brother-in-laws girlfriend is due next month.  The day I came home from the hospital, one of my dearest friends had a baby.  I texted her rather than call, because I knew that I would probably end up crying and I didn't want to ruin the moment.  Another friend had her baby within the week and in fact, there are countless other friends and family members who are all pregnant right now.  Actually, one just announced on Facebook today she is pregnant which set in motion me writing this blog tonight.  While I am happy for her and her husband, because they are such a great family, I couldn't even pick up the phone and call to tell her congratulations because I knew that I would end up crying and didn't want to upset her in any way. 

While I usually try to wrap up my blogs with something encouraging or thought-provoking, I quite frankly just don't have it in me tonight.  So instead, I'm going to close in prayer.  While many of you probably will not relate to this prayer, please know that if there is something you would like me to pray about for you, please send me an email and I would be glad to join in prayer on whatever you are currently struggling with.

Dear God,  You knew my life story before I was even born and I trust that you have a plan for all of this that I can't see right now beyond my hurt.  I pray that you would comfort me as I learn to deal with this, and show me what I can do to move past all of this when I am continually confronted with it.  Give me the right words to say to my friends and family when they announce their pregnancies or births of their babies.  Help me in those moments to be able to control my reactions so I don't come across as cold because hurting them is something I would never want to intentionally do.  God, thank you for my two precious children you have already given me.  Without them, I don't know what I would do.  I feel like they make me a better person and make those dreary moments in my day worthwhile.  Please watch over us and help us to continue to grow together as a family rather than to grow apart.  Thank you for all of the blessings you have given us!  Open our eyes to those who are hurting around us, and who us what we can do to show them Your love.  All of these I pray in Jesus' name.  Amen!

Thoughtful Gifts On A Limited Budget

With the nature of my job, if I don't work, I don't get paid.  Therefore, I am home without any real source of income for the next 6 weeks.  Thankfully, there are a few things that will help out financially while I am off on leave.  Because I get paid every 2 weeks, I will still be receiving some paychecks during this time.  Also, my pay for teaching will start about the same time that I actually am able to work again since we are on a set pay schedule for the semester, regardless of the weeks we actually work.  We do have some money in our savings to help cover expenses as well.  However, on top of our main household expenses, we actually will have our son's 8th birthday next week, plus birthdays for my brother-in-law and his girlfriend in the month of February.  This got me thinking about gift-giving and gift-giving budgets.

Throughout the course of our marraige, we have had a wide variety of incomes, which dictates how much we spend on gifts for our children, eachother, and our extended families, as well as a few select friends that we enjoy exchanging gifts with when funds allow.  At times, we have had as little as $5 to spend on gifts for people outside of our immediate families, and while it was very challenging at times, some of the tricks I learned then to stretch that amount into a thoughtful gift, I still use today.  This allows us to get very nice gifts within our price range (which is a bit bigger now), and the money we save on these gifts allows us to have more money to spend when other needs arise.  

Whatever your gift budget may be, I hope that at least a few of my ideas will inspire you to give thoughtful gifts without thinking that you have to spend more money that you can afford.  Following are my best ideas for thoughtful gifts on a limited budget.

Photo gifts always seem to be well received.  At times when our gift budget was particularly small, a framed photo was my go-to gift.  I could pick up a nice frame for $1-3 at the discount store and then pay to have the photo printed.  (If you were really limited, you could even print your own photo at home.)  It could be a photo of you with the recipient, a very flattering photo of the recipient by themselves or with their significant other, or a photo of a special event they were a part of.  You could also use a larger print (such as a 5x7, 8x10 or even larger) and print one of those collage pictures from Walmart or Walgreens for less than $3.  

Another great way to get photo gifts inexpensively is to sign up for many different online printing websites.  Within the past year, I have gotten free personalized cards (some with photos and some without) from Shutterfly, Treat, Ink Garden, and York Photos, often times with free shipping.  These are great anniversary cards for my husband or sometimes just because he is so great.  :)  I would imagine they would also make great grandparent gifts as well.  

Speaking of grandparents, my in-laws look forward to the annual photo calendar we get them for Christmas each year.  What they don't know, is that I wait until Shutterfly or VistaPrint (I do prefer Shutterfly if possible) offers their free calendar coupon code (usually in November) and order it then, only paying around $5 shipping cost.  Now that we are able to spend more on gifts, this is just one of their gifts among others, but at times, this was their only gift and they still request one each year because they liked it so much.  I have also received coupon codes in my email for free photo books or simply $5, $10 or $20 off to use on any purchase, as long as I pay the shipping.

Want a few more ideas of how to use these deals to give gifts?  Recently, from the Walgreens online photo center, I was also able to order free personalized photo address labels with free shipping included.  These are ordered and will make a great gift for my best friend who recently got married.  I also previously mentioned the birthdays coming up.  On Shutterfly, using a $20 off coupon code, I was able to order my brother-in-law's girlfriend a 20x30 photo cling with pictures of them that look like they are in frames and their names on it for $3.99 after using the coupon plus $4.99 shipping.  So, for only $9, I was able to purchase a gift for her that is a very nice personal gift while still spending only a limited amount of money. 

If even $5 seems like a lot of money to spend on a gift, what about a food gift made by you.  Banana bread is fairly inexpensive to make if you have browning bananas that need to be used up, as long as you have basic baking supplies on hand.  To dress it up, take it out of the pan, wrap in plastic wrap and/or foil and put a bow on it.  If you have a few more dollars to spend, why not wrap a pretty-patterned dish towel around it  in a holiday theme or something you know would match their kitchen.  Those can also be bought at the discount store for only a few dollars.  Another idea would be cake mix cookies.  A batch usually makes about 2 dozen cookies.  This would be very inexpensive if you bought the cake mix when it was on sale for $1 and made the frosting yourself (or bought it on sale for a coupon).  You could also use leftover holiday candy bars to make them more like chocolate-chip cookies and then you wouldn't even need the frosting.  If you have a few extra dollars to spend, why not put them on a nice holiday or other serving platter also bought at the discount store or on clearance.

Speaking of clearance shopping, another way to save a lot of money on gifts, is to shop the clearance sections of your favorite stores.  Even better than that, is going to a store that sells items on discount already (like Marshalls or TJ Maxx, or even Target which has some nice items reasonably priced), and then shopping their clearance sections.  By doing this, I have been able to pick up some very nice clothes, accessories, pretty baking dishes, and candle sets for $10 or less.  The recipient receives a very nice item, and has no idea how little you actually spent.  

Another idea is personal care items.  This idea seems to work best for high-school graduation gifts when the students are planning to go off to college, for bachelors, or truly any time you need a last minute gift.  Use coupons to get a bunch of personal care items for very discounted prices.  Place as many of these items as you can afford to give into a gift bag.  While this is a nice gift no matter what, it works even better if you happen to know their preferred brands.  Also, if you know they are going off to college with a shared bathroom, you could also include some sort of bathroom tote to haul the items back and forth to the shower.  A similar idea for newlyweds is to fill a box, bag, or tote (you can often find good deals on these after holidays in seasonal colors) with many of the items they will need to set up a household for the first time, all bought with coupons of course.  This could include toilet paper, paper towels, paper plates, napkins, cleaning supplies, or basic first aid supplies (such as bandaids or antibiotic ointment), and basic medicines (Tylenol, Aspirin, Motrin, Tums).  These can all add up when you have to buy them all for the first time in a relatively short period of time and is often well-received.

While there aren't as many ways to save on gifts for our children, I have found a few things that help keep the cost down.  One of the reasons I don't have as many ideas to offer here is that each child is different, and if there is a particular toy or game they really want, and we can afford to give it to them at the time, then we will.  One way that my husband and I are very counter-cultural is that we don't spend a lot of money on Christmas presents and make a big deal about it because we prefer to celebrate the true nature of Christmas.  However, we look at birthdays as a chance to celebrate each individual in our family and how special they are to us, so we try to make it as enjoyable for them as possible.  This is not only in gift-giving, but in how we approach the day, letting them choose the activities, foods, etc.  But anyways, one of the ways we save on gifts for our children is to shop online at Amazon.  Like previously stated, many times there is a particular item the child wants.  Before purchasing the item, I will look for it on Amazon.  I have saved as much as 50% off the list price by using this simple idea.  One other strategy for buying these things cheaper is to shop at Target if they have a current coupon available that gives you a gift card (a rebate of sorts) if you spend over $50.  Kohls offers similar promotions throughout the year, but they do not have the same toy selection as most other stores.  

Lastly, the most important thing you can do to keep your gift-giving expenses to a minimum is to plan ahead.  We have a gift tote in our storage room, which allows me to buy gifts throughout the year and place them in one central location.  If I see an item at any time that would make a good gift for a certain person, I buy it right then.  This saves me money, while also saving me time searching out the right gift when it is time to give them a gift.  This tote also allows me to grab items during after-holiday sales and clearance, such as bath or make-up gift sets and candles, to give throughout the year if a last-minute gift-giving occasion arises.

I was glad to share my best ideas with all of you, but am always looking for new ideas myself.  So, what are your best ideas for thoughtful budget gifts?  I'd love for you to share them.  Also, what do you most struggle with when it comes to gift giving?  Is it trying to stay on budget, trying to find something thoughtful instead of something that seems generic, or something else all together?

A Lesson In Being Humble

It is now two days after my surgery.  Thankfully, my initial recovery time in the hospital went well and I was able to be discharged yesterday in the late afternoon.  While I am enjoying being home to recover, it is definitely a different experience when I have to force myself to take it easy.  It is very unlike me to relax, but this is forcing me to learn the art of resting and relaxing.  

While I am taking a break, our friends and family are not.  We have had so many offers for help of all kinds, it can seem overwhelming at times.  We are so blessed to be surrounded by people that are so willing to help, but my husband and I are not used to being on the receiving end of help.  While we are quick to jump in and help others whenever we see a need arise, we have always been pretty self-sufficient and we actually prefer it that way. 

 It is very humbling when you realize that what someone is offering is just what you need, and you agree to the help.  It is so much easier to let our own pride stand in the way sometimes.  When our pastor offered for people within the church to provide some meals for us for the first week or so, neither my husband or I were very agreeable.  Finally, Jeremy answered him with a straight-forward answer.  "We aren't one's to ask for help.  We just figure out a way to do it ourselves.  That's why Jenna bought a lot of easy meals and freezer foods for me to make while she was recovering."  Our pastor, who's wive had recently had surgery also, replied that they did it after her surgery and it made things much easier for him so maybe we could consider even a few meals being delivered.  We finally agreed and realized that the ladies at the church would be more than willing to do this for us, so we shouldn't feel like we are burdening them.

As I sat alone in the hospital yesterday for a bit, I thought back to a speaker I had heard once at a women's conference.  She had to have an emergency operation that left her unable to do much around her home for quite some time.  She spoke about similar feelings towards asking for help, or even accepting the help that was offered to her.  She then continued on with some insight she had.  One day during her devotional time, she was reading a passage about God's blessings in our lives for being obedient to what he is commanding us to do.  She said in those few moments, she realized that those offers for help were other women following God's leading in their lives and she didn't want her pride to stand in the way of them receiving blessings from God for their obedience.  She said that was the day that she finally was open to having other's come into her home and help her, whether it was with meals, cleaning, child-care, or any other random needs that came up.  She was amazed once she opened herself up to allowing others to do things for her, how much easier her recovery time went from that point on.

I, like her, don't want to stand in the way of other's being blessed by God for doing what he is calling them to do.  Therefore, it is time for me to swallow my pride, and start accepting offers for help.  The next time someone calls to ask if there is anything they can do for me, I will try to be honest with anything I need done at that time.  Even if there isn't anything I need at the time, I have to be open to the idea of calling them later if something doesn't come up since they have already shown their willingness to help.

Will you join me in praying for me to learn to be more humble through this experience?  Do you have any personal experiences with this you'd like to share?  I'd love to hear about your own journey to becoming more humble and how you overcame your prideful nature.

So much to do in so little time, but God is good all the time.

The last few weeks, I have not been able to blog very much, but that will all change the next few weeks.  Two weeks ago I found out that I will have to have surgery this coming week.  While I always knew this problem could occur at sometime, I quite honestly expected it to be in my later 30s (not the year I turned 30).  Because this came at an unexpected time and is happening very quickly, I have been very busy getting things in order around my house, on top of the normal business of family and church Christmas celebration and other activities that fill this time of year. 

While I should be home within two days of having surgery, I will be on a very strict lifting and pushing/pulling restrictions and I am likely to have a significant amount of pain at least for the first few weeks.  So, every extra bit of time since receiving the news, I have been trying to do all of the main house cleaning (scrubbing the shower and bathtub, mopping the floors, etc.) and stocked up the house with groceries so my husband can make simple meals for the kids if I'm not feeling up to it.  I am also blessed with great friends and family!  My husband is always a big help about keeping the house in order, so I know that he will be more than willing to pick up the slack in housekeeping duties, many of my friends have already called to see what would be "safe foods" to make due to my food allergies for our family, I've had offers for people to keep the baby for the first few days so I can get some rest, and my mother-in-law has offered to come do my vacuuming and any other tasks I'm not able to.  

While I have spent the last few weeks preparing for this, God has been working things out for the past few months to make this an easier time for our family.  If you read my previous post, you know that I truly believe that God works things out for our good, even when we can't see them.  Let me share with you just a few ways God was looking to take care of us.   

1.  I currently teach for two schools and was planning to give up teaching for one of them.  I received an email the week before Thanksgiving from the coordinator asking if I was planning to teach again for winter semester.  I sent her an email back the next day with my intention to give up my position, but somehow, she never received it.  The first week of December, she sent me another email asking me if I had received the first one and requested an answer from me.  I immediately sent her back another email apologizing for the inconvenience of the missing email and again informed her that I was not planning to teach during winter semester.  She replied with a message that said that would be fine.  Then, a few days later another email followed that asked if I would consider teaching for one more semester since the switch to the new curriculum would be happening starting in the fall and it would help them not have to train someone for just one semester.  I talked it over with my husband, prayed about it, and decided that I could in fact commit to one more semester.  I signed my contract just a few days before I found out I would have to have surgery.  My class to teach for the other school that I prefer teaching for was only a 6 week assignment this coming semester, so in order to be off for my recovery, I had to give up that job entirely.  If it weren't for the job that I was trying so hard to quit, I wouldn't have any income at all while I am on my surgical leave of absence from all of my jobs.

2.  My transmission in my vehicle that was just replaced in August began acting up again a few weeks ago.  We had borrowed my grandparents' vehicle for me to get back in forth to work, but we only had that until December 21st.  That also was my husband's last day of work until he had 10 days off over Christmas.  I worked the day after Christmas, and I work New Years Eve and January 2nd.  What we thought would be a transmission rebuild and take about a week, has now become us needing a completely new transmission, which will cost quite a bit more money, and means it will be a few more weeks until I have my vehicle back.  There is no way that I would be able to commit to teaching 3 days a week without a vehicle, and I am not even allowed to drive for 2 weeks anyways, so as much as this is not going well, it is still probably the best time for it to happen.

3.  My daughter is a very busy 18-month-old who loves to climb and jump on everything, including me.  Especially for the first two weeks, the doctor said that I need to be extra careful about her so that my internal stitches don't get torn.  In the middle of December, my mother-in-law, who works part-time, switched from a position on afternoon shift to day shift.  She had had many opportunities to do so in the past and had passed them up but had decided that now might be a good time.  With it, her schedule of which days she works was re-arranged.  She works every Monday and Friday and every other weekend, but with the exception of one day each week has most week days off.  My mother also works part-time and her days off each week are Mondays and Fridays.  Since they both live within 5 miles, the only days I would have no help available with baby if I needed it would be the one day mid-week that my mother-in-law works each week and friends have offered to watch her on those days.  

These are just a few examples of the many interesting ways I have seen God intervening in our lives recently.  What about you?  Do you have any personal stories to share about how awesome our God is?

Don't worry! I have a plan! Love, God

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" -Matthew 6:25-34: 

This afternoon a flock of birds landed in our yard after flying around the neighborhood looking for food. I had put aside some breadcrumbs from an overdone loaf of bread just a few days ago, thinking even thought it's winter, we might get a chance to feed some birds.  As soon as I saw them land, my daughter and I went out to feed them some, but as soon as we got on the porch, they flew away and hid in the large tree in our yard.  Eventually they made their way back down, and we enjoyed watching and listening to them for quite some time.

While we were sitting there, enjoying the time, this verse came to my mind.  It made me think of how we can behave the same way in our lives.  We are so busy worrying about the small things, that we sometimes miss the big pictures.  Like the birds, we see differences or changes as scary, unable to see how we may gain something from being open to it.  No matter what our current circumstances might be, God is in control and has a plan for our lives. Sometimes life takes turns we didn't see coming, but that's because God has something in store for us just around the bend.  

I pray that I am able willing to follow God's leading and that I am open to seeing what God is trying to teach me through all circumstances.  Currently my husband and I are experiencing something that we were not prepared for, and it is a bit upsetting and originally caused us some stress, but I am trying to see in the months leading up to this, how God was paving the way and working things out despite our best efforts to go in a different direction.  While it isn't always easy, I seek to live out my personal life verse each and every day.

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, with praise and thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guide your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  - Phillipians 4:6&7

'Tis The Season

Christmas: it's a single word that means so many things to so many different people.  For some it's all about the gifts, spending hours of time and large amounts of money to find just the right ones, while others prefer a more simple holiday celebration.  For some, it's about all the get-togethers and time with family and friends, cooking elaborate meals or doing marathon baking sessions.  Some volunteer their time or donate money this time of year.  Some have extensive outdoor lights displays.  Others make it a point to attend Christmas Eve church service.  Life is full of choices that we make everyday, and those choices are made based on our values and beliefs.

As for me, I want my December to be a time of focusing on God's gift to us, and sharing that with our children, extended families, and friends.  CHRIST is the true reason we celebrate CHRISTmas!  Jesus loved us so much that he was willing to come to this earth, leaving heaven behind, to live a simple, humble existence.  He know the day of his birth that he would eventually have to die for our sins, and yet he still did it.  He loved each and every one of us that much!  All year long, not just during the moth of December, I try to share the love of Jesus with those around me.  There are many ways that my family and I choose to do that.  Sometimes we donate money to a need at church or to purchase groceries or other needed items for a struggling family.  We try to take meals to new parents.  We offer our time when something needs to be done in the community or at our church.  The young adults from church know that our home is always open to them (and a few have shown us what always means), and we take the time to mentor a young married couple.  I send notes of encouragement and Jeremy chats with friends who are struggling on a regular basis.  

For us, December may have a few more events, but our day-to-day lives aren't that different.  We prefer to celebrate Christmas in a simple way, while still enjoying the festivities of this time of year.  Here are a few of the ways that we celebrate:

• We take an annual trip to Bronner's (The World's Largest Christmas Store) and each person in our family selects a new ornament for our tree.  It's quickly filling up though, so we may have to thing about getting a bigger tree.  I know sorting out the ornaments would be an option (I truly love to declutter!), but at this point in our lives while the kids are still little, I don't want to part with any of them just yet.
• We take gift tags off of the angel tree at church to help make someone else's Christmas better.  Each person in our family chooses a tag of someone close to their own age and gender to make it seem a bit more personal, and then we shop as a family for those items.
• We have the young adults group over for a fun night of white elephant (recycled/used) gift exchange, Christmas movies, and snacks.
• We make handmade gifts for all of our children's grandparents.  This year we had pictures of all of them with at least one of our children easily available, so we made photo frames with those inside.  In previous years, we have passed out candle holders painted like peppermints with a note that said "You're worth more than a 'mint' to us!", a copy of the book The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever and a note about why it was one of our family favorites, and whisks filled with Hershey's hugs and kisses candies with a note that said "We 'whisk' you a Merry Christmas full of hugs and kisses".
• We fill Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes filled with small toys, candy, school supplies, basic clothing and hygiene products
• We attend Christmas Eve service at our church each year and invite our extended friends and families.
• We set a gift budget and stick to it for the most part.  For us, Christmas isn't about the amount of money spent on the gift, but the thought that the giver puts into it.  This year, we are trying something new with our children's gifts.  Each child is getting something to wear, something to read, something they want, and something they need.  They will also be getting 1 small gift from Santa each.  We don't make a big deal about Santa in our house, but we do let them celebrate the fun of it.  They also each get one special gift from my husband each year, since even our 7-year-old knows that I do the majority of our shopping.  For our parents and our siblings along with their significant others, we try to get them couples gifts that our something they can go enjoy together such as tickets to a sporting event or a movie night basket. 
• We attend the local Christmas lights parade.
• When we are out and about, we are always on the lookout for nativity scenes to point out to each other.
• We spend Christmas Day at home as a family, instead of running all over the place and everyone becoming stressed and overwhelmed.
• We try to have all of our Christmas shopping done by December 1st so that we don't have to fight our way through the stores with all of the other stressed out people.
• We have family movie night at least once a week.  We turn off all of the lights in our house, except the Christmas tree, eat popcorn and other treats, all cuddle up on the couch, and watch movies we all enjoy together.  
• We read the Christmas story to our children.  While our daughter isn't quite old enough to understand just yet, we still want her to be a part of it so that as she gets older, she will come to realize the importance.  

What about all of you?  What are some of your family's favorite ways to keep your Christmas celebration focused on Jesus?  I'm always looking for new ideas for my own family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday!  I look forward to it all year long.  What could be better than a good meal spent with good company, all while reflecting on the many ways that we are blessed?  While we try to teach our children to be grateful throughout the entire year, it is awesome to be surrounded by other people who are more willing than usual to share about all of the good things they are thankful for in their own lives.  This year, on the main wall in our dining room, we replaced some pictures of family and friends with a piece of string hung with mini clothespins on it.  Leaves were available for those who were in our home to fill out and share with us what they are most grateful for this year.  Many of our family and friends participated and it was good to see how God is working in other peoples lives, as well as our own.  

Do you have any special Thanksgiving traditions you share with your family and friends?  Take a moment to reflect on those and how they make you feel, then please leave a comment about the activity to give the rest of us some new ideas for our own Thanksgiving celebrations next year.  Maybe you all be blessed immensely, not only during this holiday season, but the coming year as well!

A Clean Home Is A Happy Home

When our home is clean, I feel much more productive and energetic.  However, when our home is messy, I have a hard time concentrating or relaxing.  Lucky for me, I married someone who feels the same way about keeping up on housework as I do, so he is willing to jump in and do whatever needs done to keep things maintained.  While my house requires constant upkeep (one words... children!), as long as I do some small things each day, it rarely gets out of control.  My goal is to have all of my more deep-cleaning projects done by next week so that I will feel okay letting those things go in the month of December to enjoy the spirit of the season between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Here are a few of my best tips for keeping things in order (in no particular order):

1. I make my bed every day.  Not only do I have a hard time going to sleep if my blankets are all bunched up when I crawl in, but it gives my bedroom an instant look of being more organized, which then motivates us to keep the other things (like folded laundry that needs put away) taken care of too.
2. Before we go to bed each night, we make sure the living room is picked up and the dining room table and counters are cleared of any odds and ends left out during the day.
3. We have a window seat by the back door where everyone is supposed to leave their things for the morning.  This includes my purse and/or work bag, my son's backpack, and my daughter's diaper bag.  We pack all of these at night so we aren't running around in the mornings like crazy.  (It's a work in progress, but the system works when everyone does what their supposed to, and really, who is perfect anyways...)
4. We sort junk mail from the regular mail at the trash can before it ever makes it's way to our desk.  It only takes a few seconds and is one less thing that we have to deal with later.
5. We make a menu on a regular basis. It includes all of the dinners that we have the ingredients on hand for.  This helps me remember if I want to make something that needs to be thawed from the freezer or if I have a few extra minutes, what I can do to prep meals for the next few days.
6. I keep a magnetic list pad on the refrigerator where we can add items that need to be replaced right away.  Now that my husband and son are in the habit of doing it, there are much fewer runs to the store when we are out of something that we absolutely need (like milk for the baby).
7. I try to do a load of laundry or two each day that am home.  This keeps the laundry from getting out of control (either to wash or fold and put away), and we rarely have an issue with needing something that is in the dirty clothes since everything gets washed on a regular basis.

What about all of you?  What are your best tips for keeping up on housework?

Life Happens! (But what is God trying to show us?)

 "We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer."  Proverbs 16:1 (NLT)

I was supposed to work today.  However, that verse was my Facebook status this morning at 4 am from my devotional.  I typed it after scrubbing the couch and floor and starting a load of laundry because my son came down with a stomach bug and didn't make it to the bathroom before vomiting all over.  I truly believe that God allows all things to happen in our lives for a reason, and I feel that lately He has been showing me how I need to realign my priorities.  This was just one more lesson in that.  While I feel awful that my son is sick, it has been another reminder to me of how important my role as a mother and wife is.

The last few weeks, I have been working quite a bit.  The truth is that I currently have 4 part-time jobs.  I work as a nursing instructor for 2 different schools, which means that I teach 2 days at the hospital each week.  I am also on-call in the local ER and work at another area hospital as a RN Case Manager on an average of 2 to 4 days per month.  Occasionally, other instructors will also ask me to sub for their clinical groups.  Between all of these jobs, I have been averaging somewhere between 42 and 60 hours a week for the past 3 weeks, and my schedule continues to be just as intense for the entire month of November.  The light at the end of the tunnel is that I have hardly any days scheduled in December, and I have decided to be much more choosy about which days I agree to work during that time.  

Originally, I had picked up some extra shifts because both of our vehicles needed new transmissions within 3 months, which was a very large expense.  We had wiped out most of our savings to pay cash for the first one and wanted to be able to pay cash for the second one as well, so it seemed fine to work a little more for a short time and be able to meet the goal.  (And I'm so thankful that I have a career that allows me to do that!)  However, while I started this schedule for good reason, in reality, I truly do love to work.  As much as I love to work, though, I love my family more, and the reason I took the part-time jobs in the first place was to have more time with them while the kids are still little.  I was already feeling a little unsettled about the situation, then 2 other nurses that I hardly know made comments comparable to calling me a "workaholic".  While I don't remember what exactly was said, I do remember feeling convicted by what they said because it was a confirmation of what I was already feeling myself.  As much as I truly enjoy my job and am satisfied with the things I am able to do with my job, there are often things left undone at home and I feel more disorganized that ever even though I am taking a year off of school to get my life in order.  For this reason, I am praying diligently for God to show me which jobs I should keep and which ones I could do without.  

The last week or so, I finally feel like I am getting some clear answers.  One of the hospitals will be starting to use an electronic charting system in the spring, which would including having to attend computer training sessions (a total of approximately 6 days), meaning more time away from my family.  Plus, I would then by trying to use multiple computer systems (which are very complex) on back-to-back days frequently which may be very difficult to keep straight.  I spoke to my husband about the transition, and he was in total agreement that it would be a good time for me to step out of that role, so that will free up at least 2 more days a month for me to be home.  Secondly, now that I am no longer attending school at one of the colleges that I teach for, the pay is not that good compared to the other school without the half-off tuition discount I was receiving and that just happens to be the teaching job that gives me the most stress, so I am seriously considering giving up that position as well.  

I am so thankful that we have a God who is working in our lives everyday.  If we are seeking Him, he will open or close doors on things that are helping or hindering us.  The key is to be paying attention for what he is trying to show us.  My co-worker has a beautiful framed sign hanging in our shared office that couldn't be more true for this season in my life.  It reads the following:

"We must listen quietly for God, 

because He whispers while the world yells."

It is important to think when we are going through our busy day-to-day life if our activities are filling up our time or giving our life a purpose.  For me, it required some real soul-searching and some tough decisions, but I know that when January arrives, I will feel like a much more balanced person which will hopefully allow me to feel like I am truly fulfilling my calling as a Christian wife and mother.  

Baking Day!

Up until this point, I have not written about my food allergies.  So, let me share with you today.  Baking day is a necessity at our home because I am severely allergic to all milk and soy products.  For this reason, I have to make pretty much all of my foods from scratch.  Unlike my husband and children, I can't eat breads bought at the store, and there aren't any snack foods for me (except fruits and veggies) unless I make them myself and store them in the freezer.  After working quite a few days in a row, I was out of almost everything that I can eat, so today I have been baking up a storm.  I have made loafs of sandwich bread, brownies, pepperoni rolls (similar to cinnamon rolls but with pizza-type fillings), and am making English muffin bread for toast next.  I also made some stuffed green peppers for my lunches, since trying to buy anything at the cafeteria other than salad is difficult as well.  While I can't honestly say that I don't mind having these food allergies, I am finally finding some products that allow me to enjoy some of the foods I liked prior to developing the allergies and I am adjusting to this new way of life.  After 5 years of dealing with this, I am finally able to go to the grocery store without feeling extremely frustrated most times.  I am slowly finding new ways to enjoy foods that seemed impossible prior to the health food store opening in my area and am getting better with substitutions and alternatives to make some more traditional meals that I enjoy most.  So, in closing, if you have any awesome dairy and soy free recipes, please share them with me!  :)

A Day Of Rest

Last night, I fell asleep on the couch.  When I heard my husband get up this morning for work, he told me I looked so tired and was sleeping so soundly that he didn't want to wake me when he headed to bed.  After he left for work, I got our son up for school and once he was on the bus sat down to have some morning coffee and spend some time reading my devotional and praying.  Afterwards, I just couldn't get motivated to do anything.  At first I was beginning to worry about everything I wanted to get done today, but then I realized that I have worked 7 out of the last 9 days and have put in way more hours than usual working.  I decided that for once, it would be alright for me to let things go for a bit and instead enjoy my day.  I did throw in a load of laundry because my daughter had an accident in her bed which required washing her sheets, but other than that I have spent the day relaxing and I do not feel bad about it at all.  I got the fall decorations put up in the house (which was work, but will make me feel good when I get up tomorrow and smile every time I walk in the house for the rest of the season), spent some time reading, and enjoyed my time with my daughter.  Remember that in a usually hectic existence, sometimes you just need to take a day to rejuvinate by doing things that make you happy.  The photo is one that I came across early this morning.  It reminded me that life is all about perspective and helped me to change my attitude towards my to-do list today.  I hope that it inspires you as well and that you are able to enjoy at least a few minutes of relaxation today, whether all alone or with your children.  Have a blessed day!

The Start Of A New School Year

After taking the summer off from most of my usual organizational activities (and this blog), complete chaos has ensued in our home, and it is a time to get things back in order.  For starters, while we had a few random ingredients laying around the house, we didn't have any real meals or snacks, including in the freezer.  I made my first menu plan in over 3 months last week and completed a mini freezer cooking session (ham & cheese pockets and taquitos).  It felt like a small step in the right direction, but there is so much more that needs to be done.  Now, I just need to keep moving forward with small changes to get everything back the way it was.  I just have to keep reminding myself that it is going to take time and I can't overhaul everything the way I want to.  Here are my goals for the rest of this week and I will post my progress on them next Wednesday.

• Clean my desk
• Create a weekly schedule for getting homework graded
• Organize our bills
• Sort kids clothes and take outgrown items to the local mission